Church today was... well, hard. It was not a little piece of heaven... quite the opposite, in fact. Jer was at work and the "fun" started the moment we walked in. Calvin did not want to go into the chapel. It took me a minute to realize he wasn't following me, so I went back out into the hall to get him. Instead of continuing on and staying in their seats, all my kids followed me into the hall. And then we had to go back into the chapel... this big line of people going in and out and disrupting everyone.
Cal sat there for a few minutes (and when I say few, I mean a very few), but then required intense attention to keep him from talking loudly, running around the cultural hall, etc. Well, I was so focused on him that I didn't notice that Ashton had snagged my iPad and turned on Angry Birds. Of course the volume was turned up all the way and it was during the sacrament.
By this time Sophie was awake and Matthew didn't really know what to do with her. She was bored, but only wanted me. So, I ended up sending Calvin into the hall with Katie while I stood in the back with Sophie. Of course during all of this chaos, the talk was a lecture on parenting and how mom's shouldn't work, kids don't need to be busy, etc. (I am sorry I am not perfect and don't have all the answers... I am just trying to do what is best for me and my kids!) and let's just say I didn't exactly have the Spirit with me at that particular moment, but that is another story...
Anyway, we somehow survived sacrament meeting without being asked to leave and it was time for classes. Katie took Calvin into Primary and when he seemed excited about the pictures on the wall I had hope. I stood outside the door with Sophie and kept giving her her binky (she was hungry, but would not take the bottle I brought for her) for several minutes until it seemed like he was going to stay in there just fine. Then, I went to the mother's lounge to feed the patient little babe.
Sophie was eating and I was just starting to relax and feel like things were going okay when in ran Calvin followed by a Primary worker. He was done. She left him with me and he sat in the other rocking chair for... oh, maybe two minutes... before darting out of the room. I stopped feeding as quickly as I could and ran out of the room after him. I was chasing him down when I saw my mom in the hall. She went to a baby blessing earlier and was just getting to church. She took Sophie so I could grab Calvin.
The next 1 1/2 hours were spent with him screaming in the hall about how he wasn't going to class, me trying to give him choices, bribes, etc. (it was pathetic parenting... really), me going with him to class (with snacks provided by my friend), him sitting in class for about 25 minutes and even participating a little (so I thought I could leave and he did fine until the class all had to go to the bathroom and after he went potty he wouldn't go back in and was running around the halls), etc. It really did keep getting worse and worse! I was covered in bruises and my body hurt from trying to carry, manhandle, etc. him.
I took this picture of Calvin throwing a tantrum in the hall, because sometimes if you take a picture of something horrid, it ends up funny. And then, right next to him was Sophie peacefully sleeping in her carseat. The contrast was pretty humorous. We didn't plan on having six kids, but Heavenly Father knew I needed her! She is the calm after the storm right now. :) Hopefully that won't change too much. (Other than the storm being calmed!)
I wish I knew what to do with Calvin... he is exhausting! You would think after four older kids I would have it down, but none of my tricks work! I wonder how much of it is bad parenting on my part (I was very permissive when he was a baby because I was so grateful he was alive and I have been exhausted for the last year); how much is a high energy, very stubborn spirit; and how much is the result of the complications at his birth when he was oxygen deprived during delivery. He is SO loving, thoughtful and polite! And such a little stinker!
My friend suggested we let him bring something (like a toy) to Primary next week. It is definitely worth a try! I will try just about anything at this point! <Sigh>
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1 comment:
Oh Jill do I know your struggles. We are going on 5 years now. I just know how often I feel like a bad parent who doesn't know what they are doing. You are doing a great job, and have the most wonderful children! This storm will pass, that's what I keep telling myself.
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